Salt Water In My Veins

Circus folks are said to have sawdust in their veins. If that is true we Topsail Islanders must have salt water in ours. I'm not sure if we get it by osmosis or if we swallow it, if it seeps through our belly buttons or what, but we mose definitely have it in our veins.
How can you tell if you have absorbed your required annual quota of salt water? There are many signs. I'll list a few:
1) You smell salt water in your sleep even if you have traveled 100 miles inland.
2) You hear the peaceful lull of the tides in your sleep even over the snoring of the one beside you. 
3) Your hair will be "frizzy" even if you use Pantene conditioner.
4) When vampires suck your blood they spit it back out.
Circus people move around a lot. First one town and then another. We Topsail Island salt water addicts do the same. North Topsail Beach, Surf City, Topsail Beach and then we start all over again - North Topsail Beach, Surf City, Topsail Beach. Occasionally we may even lumber over to Lea Island, by boat of course. Circus people don't work much in the winter time. They take it easy and take a vacation just like we do.
Circus People wears lots and lots of make-up. Island people do also. Sunblock in the morning, suntan lotion at noon, suntan oil in the evening and aloe (that green stuff thats feels so good after you've had too much sun). Cheaters even use the oil in tanning beds and swear "oh, this is my natural skin tone". Be careful of too much sun. If you feel that burn, you will have to restrict your beach time to playing turtle. (Romping around on the beach only at night like turtles do.)
Another similarity between circus people and beach people are they both wear colorful clothing. Some of the "Hawaiian" shirts I see look like they belong on a clown as do some of the wide brimmed hats. Some of the beach prints with flowers as large as small ponies definitely do not belong on the backsides of some of the people I see on beach blankets.
Circus people sell tickets to go in to see the show. Island people get tickets if they drive too fast on the island. (Careful - sometimes 25, 35, 45 mph - never more)
Some Circus people do tricks like sword swallowers and acrobats. Some of us Island people who lose flip flops in the sand look somewhat like them as we try to make it down the street on the pavement (hot, hot, hot) to where we parked our car, if we can remember where we parked our car. (We call the name of that dance the Topsail Two Step or the Sand Slide.)  We somewhat resemble tight rope walkers as we sway from side to side trying to walk with sand in our bathing suits. (Maybe that's why crabs walk sideways???)

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